Intro Part 2: Breaking Away

     I've always felt uncomfortable when people would congratulate me for doing the things I was supposed to do. People of my generation, born in this great nation, into good middle class families with hard working parents, are supposed to go to school. We're supposed to take honors classes, graduate high school, score well on the SAT, and get into a decent college. In college, we're supposed to pick a major, avoid jail time, stay away from hard drugs, and get a degree. Then, we're supposed to find a paying job at a reputable company, and from there we're supposed to begin our steady climb of the corporate ladder.

And why were we supposed to do all this?
Because we are incredibly blessed, like few generations have ever been before us. We have been given everything, from our health to our wealth of opportunities. Caring parents and teachers have carefully put us in a position to succeed, at every step along the path. So when people say congratulations for something we were supposed to do, they're really patting us on the back for not dropping out, or screwing up too badly. Big whoop!

In any case, each person, based on his/her unique talents and motivations, has something to contribute to this world. Each has a best fit someplace: where conditions are just right, the inner fire burns, and they are able to put forth their best effort for a cause they deem worthy. The scope and scale of these contributions differ widely depending on the person. But getting to this point is what my friend Adam would call "finding one's authentic self" and this is the tricky part. And following the supposed path doesn't necessarily get you there.

Of course there are some who have simply always known, or those who find they've landed the perfect role early on. If you are one of these lucky people, I've always envied you. In high school, I'd wonder about someday finding my calling. In college, I'd complain about it. The problem throughout was that without a clear sense of where I wanted to end up, it was nearly impossible to create a plan of action to get there. Also, having such a wide array of different interests made it difficult to make any decision that seemed to narrow future options. I began to be afraid that staying on the path had gotten me lost, and that I would not find myself.

     Upon graduating, I wasn't ready for a specialized Electrical Engineering job. To keep my immediate options open, I got a job at a big, ambiguous, global IT consulting firm with over 200,000 employees and projects in more than 120 countries. I have been with the company now for three years, and I fully appreciate the learning opportunities it has given me, the skills obtained, and many wonderful people I've gotten to know. However, through it all, my desire to take a break grew as I continually noticed:

1. I daydreamed about being outside and breathing fresh air, as I spent my 8 to 5 in cubicles, makeshift storage-closet offices, and windowless buildings.
2. I wanted to develop more "hard skills" to become an expert at something so I could build something that would last.
3. My work did not seem to help anyone directly - mostly it served the profit interests of big companies in health insurance, oil & gas, and defense (clever how they don't mention the "offense" side of it).
4. To sound important or to get away with not saying anything concrete or meaningful, some people in consulting use words like: long-pole, low-hanging fruit, at a high-level, 5000 mile view, ping me, out-of-pocket, from a [insert any word here] perspective, job aid, bake it in, deep dive, hit the ground running, rock star, leverage, quick win, straw man, upward feedback, value-add, wordsmith, reach out, and many more…
5. Many of my peers were driven by external motivators such as frequent travel, per diems, free happy hours, and the ability to "keep options open." These were nice while they lasted, but obtaining these perks should come second to internal motivators like having a true passion for the work and pride for what actually gets accomplished.
6. Initially I tried to arrange this mission through the "Corporate Citizenship" programs in place, but they never returned my calls or emails, (though they did have some very colorful brochures).
7. It was time for a leave of absence - I had the itch, recognizing that staying for very long time could ultimately turn out to be a waste of time, and time is our only true commodity.

These observations, combined with my fear of staying lost until it was too late, drove me to systematically search for direction.

Don't get me wrong! I did learn some very important lessons, and appreciated being put into the fire early in many circumstances. Though frustrated at times, I was by no means ever a disgruntled employee. I understood the system and the reasons for it being that way. I happily accepted it for three years, and the job afforded me time and security, which provided thinking space backed by relevant information. Though some of the latter was not understood at the moment, when the lucky moment of inspiration struck last year, it found tinder to ignite.

My search led me to something I had passion for all along. Water is what I was looking for… a global issue, with extensive ramifications, and undeniable significance to our day. As obvious as it seems now, it was somehow the idea that kept eluding me. I have only scratched the surface of this field of enormous breadth, but I know I've heard my calling.

     So let's go back to where I've recently been climbing the corporate ladder, just as I was supposed to. I think I've stayed the course long enough, and now it's time I find my own way. Rather than outright quitting, I requested a maximum term, 1-year "personal leave of absence" (mostly to put some minds at ease). It was approved this month, the longest ever heard of, says my HR rep. My final paycheck came in last week, and I gave back my computer and badge. This is officially where I hop off, or break away if you will.